Say you’re sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time coz I honestly believed in you.
Holding on the days dragged on, Stupid girl I should have known,
I should have known…
That I’m not a princess, this aint a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell.
This aint Hollywood that was a small town.
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to come around …
Baby I was naïve, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance.
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know…
That I’m not a princess, this aint a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell.
This aint Hollywood that was a small town.
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to come around …
And there you are on your knees,
begging for forgiveness, begging for me…
Just like I always wanted but I’m sorry
Coz I’m not your princess, this aint a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for your and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now…
The thoughts, dreams and stories that made up my whole being - that made up Gelay...
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
transfer... transfer... transfer...
I'm on this road again... again and again...
Why haven't I thought of these when I made a decision to leave DB....
...Transfer would mean new work environment, new people to work with, new learning curve... and adjustment, adjustments, adjustments....
I hate this feeling of being alone, and the feeling that you do not know the process... you do not know what to do, how to deal with the people and how to deal with the environment... Gosh!!!!
It makes me wonder why have I decided to leave?
1st - Finance work... i would want to go back to the real accounting work...
2nd - i want my normal life back... normal shift and normal sleep...
... i want to play with my kids after office hours...
...i want to teach Bea her lessons... I want to bring her to school in the morning...
Ok so these are the reasons why i decided to leave... without taking into considerations the other factors that should be considered...
Maybe it was just me... I should learn how to appreciate my current situation, this is life when I have decided to transfer... and i should bear with it. I know I will be ale to adopt to the changes... ako pa... Kaya ko to!!!!
Why haven't I thought of these when I made a decision to leave DB....
...Transfer would mean new work environment, new people to work with, new learning curve... and adjustment, adjustments, adjustments....
I hate this feeling of being alone, and the feeling that you do not know the process... you do not know what to do, how to deal with the people and how to deal with the environment... Gosh!!!!
It makes me wonder why have I decided to leave?
1st - Finance work... i would want to go back to the real accounting work...
2nd - i want my normal life back... normal shift and normal sleep...
... i want to play with my kids after office hours...
...i want to teach Bea her lessons... I want to bring her to school in the morning...
Ok so these are the reasons why i decided to leave... without taking into considerations the other factors that should be considered...
Maybe it was just me... I should learn how to appreciate my current situation, this is life when I have decided to transfer... and i should bear with it. I know I will be ale to adopt to the changes... ako pa... Kaya ko to!!!!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Bea's 7th Birthday preparation...
It was actually a month long preparation... with lots of worries, computation, re-planning and everything... Gosh! I am not really sure if Bea's birthday will push thru... why? because of financial matters... you know!
I just resigned from DB and was new to Cypress. I had no pay since Aug and my next payday will be on Sept 25. That was my worry! Where will i get the funds?? I can't disappoint Bea... she has been waiting for that day to come. I know she has been counting the days till Sept 17... kakayanin ba ng puso ko makita si Bea na malungkot sa 7th birthday nya? A big NO!!!!
Buti nalang Daddy loves Bea so much.... and he was there to support her daughters big day...
3 weeks before Sept 17, while i was on vacation and completing my requirements for Cypress, I went to Divisoria to buy Bea's souvenir. The party's theme is Disney princess and Cars. So I went on hunting for good things to buy in Divi. What I have in mind is that they should be useful... less candies in the lootbags please. What I have chosen is Princess and Cars bag as lootbags, to be filled with pencils, notebooks, coloring books, stickers and hanky... useful right?
It was really fun! ako ang nag enjoy sa kakapili ng pwedeng ilagay na kasya sa budget ko. I only have 2k then, including fare and meals so I really have to watch what I was buying... Glad i was able to buy naman what I need and what was in my mind.
2 weeks to go... I have been searching and calling establishments for the chairs and tables. I want to compare prices kung saan mas makakamura... My idea was to have a clown, kahit walang face painter, basta may games that kids will enjoy. With balloon decorations para maganda rin. But my idea equals money... balloon decorations will already cost me 3,500.
1 week to go but I was still torn on the venue.... Bahay or clubhouse? Bahay would mean renting tents with worries if it rains while clubhouse is a little costly but with less worry... kaya sa clubhouse nalang...
Balloon decor... sabi ni Chec ako nalang daw ang mag decorate. With a little help from youtube's how to videos, I will be able to decorate Bea's party with less cost. hehehe buti nalang Chec have brilliant ideas!!! Madali lang pala, effort lang ang kailangan... with this I've learned that I can have a new career as balloon decorator! hahahaha
Chairs and tables, it was with Jecas party needs of Ms. Lotis, I saw their site in the web... mai-try nga... I booked for their Clown and face painter and tables and chairs for 70 persons with out any deposit...san kapa?
Everything is going as planned... food nalang ang kailangang isipin... 1 week to go and I am still thinking if it will push thru... I was already crossing my fingers and was praying to Him to guide me. I'll let Him take care of the rest... i don't like to worry too much... i know He will be there to help me as always....
I just resigned from DB and was new to Cypress. I had no pay since Aug and my next payday will be on Sept 25. That was my worry! Where will i get the funds?? I can't disappoint Bea... she has been waiting for that day to come. I know she has been counting the days till Sept 17... kakayanin ba ng puso ko makita si Bea na malungkot sa 7th birthday nya? A big NO!!!!
Buti nalang Daddy loves Bea so much.... and he was there to support her daughters big day...
3 weeks before Sept 17, while i was on vacation and completing my requirements for Cypress, I went to Divisoria to buy Bea's souvenir. The party's theme is Disney princess and Cars. So I went on hunting for good things to buy in Divi. What I have in mind is that they should be useful... less candies in the lootbags please. What I have chosen is Princess and Cars bag as lootbags, to be filled with pencils, notebooks, coloring books, stickers and hanky... useful right?
It was really fun! ako ang nag enjoy sa kakapili ng pwedeng ilagay na kasya sa budget ko. I only have 2k then, including fare and meals so I really have to watch what I was buying... Glad i was able to buy naman what I need and what was in my mind.
2 weeks to go... I have been searching and calling establishments for the chairs and tables. I want to compare prices kung saan mas makakamura... My idea was to have a clown, kahit walang face painter, basta may games that kids will enjoy. With balloon decorations para maganda rin. But my idea equals money... balloon decorations will already cost me 3,500.
1 week to go but I was still torn on the venue.... Bahay or clubhouse? Bahay would mean renting tents with worries if it rains while clubhouse is a little costly but with less worry... kaya sa clubhouse nalang...
Balloon decor... sabi ni Chec ako nalang daw ang mag decorate. With a little help from youtube's how to videos, I will be able to decorate Bea's party with less cost. hehehe buti nalang Chec have brilliant ideas!!! Madali lang pala, effort lang ang kailangan... with this I've learned that I can have a new career as balloon decorator! hahahaha
Chairs and tables, it was with Jecas party needs of Ms. Lotis, I saw their site in the web... mai-try nga... I booked for their Clown and face painter and tables and chairs for 70 persons with out any deposit...san kapa?
Everything is going as planned... food nalang ang kailangang isipin... 1 week to go and I am still thinking if it will push thru... I was already crossing my fingers and was praying to Him to guide me. I'll let Him take care of the rest... i don't like to worry too much... i know He will be there to help me as always....
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Goodbye DKS....
It has been 2 years since I set foot in this company.... Deutsche Knowledge Service....
I admit I really wanted to be part of this organization when I was still in Splash. I have heard good things about the company, about work, schedule, pay and bonuses. And a friend of mine confirmed that what i was hearing about the company are all true... Like the bonuses... she was hired in Sept 2008 with twice as much as her salary in her previous work and she got a month bonus in Feb 2009. Gosh! a month bonus?!? I want that! I never experienced that! So I was really eager to apply for any post... And I didn't get a hard time applying for one. It was a 3-day hiring process. 1st day - phone interview, 2nd day interview with HR and 3rd was with my team lead Nic and feeling team lead Jezer hehehehe just kidding!
After that I got a call from HR that I passed the interview and I need to drop by their office for the JO (Job offer). Though I was a bit disaapointed when I saw the offer (it was not what I expected...) I still accepted and just looked forward to the bonuses hehehehe.
The work was really different, it was a total shift actually. I was shocked initially but I have learned to love my process. The people also are quite different, it seems that they have their own world and I cannot penetrate! I felt so alone but I have also learned to accept that this is the BPO world... fast changing! people come and go!
But DKS gave me opportunites and memories i will never forget, i was able to have our house constructed because of the pay and the schedule. Me and my family were able to travel to bohol because of the MTA policy... things that a normal company won't offer and of course the car service, no worrying of going home late since the service will bring you home safe, right in front of your doorstep....
Now, as of this writing, I only have a day left with DKS. Tomorrow is the day, my last day with Deutsche. And I am feeling a bit sad honestly... I am worrying about my process and every thing.
I will miss the people who made my last day with DB memorable... I never thought I had made so much friends here. I will surely miss my superior who understands when I needed to take a leave because of family matters. I will miss my circle of moms friends and the demanding onshore. I will surely miss DKS.... my home for the last 2 years...
I admit I really wanted to be part of this organization when I was still in Splash. I have heard good things about the company, about work, schedule, pay and bonuses. And a friend of mine confirmed that what i was hearing about the company are all true... Like the bonuses... she was hired in Sept 2008 with twice as much as her salary in her previous work and she got a month bonus in Feb 2009. Gosh! a month bonus?!? I want that! I never experienced that! So I was really eager to apply for any post... And I didn't get a hard time applying for one. It was a 3-day hiring process. 1st day - phone interview, 2nd day interview with HR and 3rd was with my team lead Nic and feeling team lead Jezer hehehehe just kidding!
After that I got a call from HR that I passed the interview and I need to drop by their office for the JO (Job offer). Though I was a bit disaapointed when I saw the offer (it was not what I expected...) I still accepted and just looked forward to the bonuses hehehehe.
The work was really different, it was a total shift actually. I was shocked initially but I have learned to love my process. The people also are quite different, it seems that they have their own world and I cannot penetrate! I felt so alone but I have also learned to accept that this is the BPO world... fast changing! people come and go!
But DKS gave me opportunites and memories i will never forget, i was able to have our house constructed because of the pay and the schedule. Me and my family were able to travel to bohol because of the MTA policy... things that a normal company won't offer and of course the car service, no worrying of going home late since the service will bring you home safe, right in front of your doorstep....
Now, as of this writing, I only have a day left with DKS. Tomorrow is the day, my last day with Deutsche. And I am feeling a bit sad honestly... I am worrying about my process and every thing.
I will miss the people who made my last day with DB memorable... I never thought I had made so much friends here. I will surely miss my superior who understands when I needed to take a leave because of family matters. I will miss my circle of moms friends and the demanding onshore. I will surely miss DKS.... my home for the last 2 years...
Friday, July 16, 2010
....Sa giled ng Computer...
it was wednesday morning, after manalasa ni Basyang sa Pilipinas, I received a very heart breaking letter from my grade 1 daughter, Ate Bea...
She was probably asking why I had to go to the office that day since their classes were suspended due to the typhoon after effect. I know she was not feeling so well that morning, she was having low grade fever kasi. But since it's low grade, and i have things to do at the office, i decided to go to work.
While I was preparing to leave, she approached me and gave me something rolled and tied with her red sanrio rubberband. It was a letter, a plead i guess... and as i read her handwritten note I felt something warm flowing below my eyes... It made me teary eyed...well, it made me cry... her letter literally was cutting my heart into pieces... then I rolled it again.
I secretly wiped my tear, and told her... "Ikaw talaga Ate, alam mo naman bakit kailangang pumasok ni Mommy diba?!"... then she asked for her letter... Of course I refused to give it back... I told her "Ipapabasa ko to sa Boss ko, para payagan ka nyang isama sa ofis namin." Then she smiled and said "Ok, Mommy".
Then she happily went down the stairs... took some food at the fridge which she shared with denise and waved goodbye to me...
While I was travelling on the way to the office, i was very tempted to read her letter again, pero kasi ayoko umiyak so hindi ko na ginawa. But as soon as I arrived at the office, i took it off in my bag and reread it. Again, it made me cry... and until now, whenever I get a glimpse of it, even just the paper where it was written, napapaiyak parin ako.... I love you Ate Bea and Denise... you know how much I do...
She was probably asking why I had to go to the office that day since their classes were suspended due to the typhoon after effect. I know she was not feeling so well that morning, she was having low grade fever kasi. But since it's low grade, and i have things to do at the office, i decided to go to work.
While I was preparing to leave, she approached me and gave me something rolled and tied with her red sanrio rubberband. It was a letter, a plead i guess... and as i read her handwritten note I felt something warm flowing below my eyes... It made me teary eyed...well, it made me cry... her letter literally was cutting my heart into pieces... then I rolled it again.
I secretly wiped my tear, and told her... "Ikaw talaga Ate, alam mo naman bakit kailangang pumasok ni Mommy diba?!"... then she asked for her letter... Of course I refused to give it back... I told her "Ipapabasa ko to sa Boss ko, para payagan ka nyang isama sa ofis namin." Then she smiled and said "Ok, Mommy".
Then she happily went down the stairs... took some food at the fridge which she shared with denise and waved goodbye to me...
While I was travelling on the way to the office, i was very tempted to read her letter again, pero kasi ayoko umiyak so hindi ko na ginawa. But as soon as I arrived at the office, i took it off in my bag and reread it. Again, it made me cry... and until now, whenever I get a glimpse of it, even just the paper where it was written, napapaiyak parin ako.... I love you Ate Bea and Denise... you know how much I do...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Greatest Disapproval
Greatest Disapproval
Many of us unconsciously believe that we're unworthy. We adopt this belief very early in our lives, when the people we looked up to disapprove our demands, wishes and behaviors. We then conclude that we are no good.
The greatest disapproval is not when others put you down, it is when you put down yourself.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Lead me Lord...
These past few days... i have been feeling so low and sad. I don't exactly know why. Nalulungkot lang ako and marami ako masyadong iniisip. I guess yun yon eh... marami akong iniisip... mga bagay na pwede namang hindi pero once it crosses my mind it stays there and won't leave for a while..
Do i need a friend to talk to? I am not sure... Probably a psychiatrist? No...
I just need you Lord to guide me in my decisions during these low low days. Please make me strong enough to face all challenges each day... Please dont let go of my hands oh Lord when my faith seems to be slipping away...
My faith in you will help me overcome whatever difficulties, worries and fears i've been feeling these days... Lead me lord...
Lead me Lord
Lead me by the hand
And make me face the rising sun
Comfort me through all the pain
That life may bring
There’s no other hope
That I can lean upon
Lead me Lord
Lead me all my life
Walk by me
Walk by me across
The lonely road that I may face
Take my arms and let your hand
Show me the way
Show the way to live inside your heart
All my days, all my life
You are my light
You’re the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
Lead me Lord
Lead me Lord
Even though at times
I’d rather go alone my way
Help me take the right direction
Take Your road
Lead me Lord
And never leave my side
All my days, All my life
You are my light
You’re the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
All through my days
Lead me, O Lord
Lead me Lord
Do i need a friend to talk to? I am not sure... Probably a psychiatrist? No...
I just need you Lord to guide me in my decisions during these low low days. Please make me strong enough to face all challenges each day... Please dont let go of my hands oh Lord when my faith seems to be slipping away...
My faith in you will help me overcome whatever difficulties, worries and fears i've been feeling these days... Lead me lord...
Lead me Lord
Lead me by the hand
And make me face the rising sun
Comfort me through all the pain
That life may bring
There’s no other hope
That I can lean upon
Lead me Lord
Lead me all my life
Walk by me
Walk by me across
The lonely road that I may face
Take my arms and let your hand
Show me the way
Show the way to live inside your heart
All my days, all my life
You are my light
You’re the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
Lead me Lord
Lead me Lord
Even though at times
I’d rather go alone my way
Help me take the right direction
Take Your road
Lead me Lord
And never leave my side
All my days, All my life
You are my light
You’re the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
All through my days
Lead me, O Lord
Lead me Lord
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